10 signs that you are sleeping with a mammy water

Good morning, Happy Sunday, and happy new week!!! 

Starting today on a happy note. didn't sleep all night, because I'm preparing for a Job aptitude test which I'm writing this morning. I'll be traveling from PH to Owerri for it. Don't wish me luck. its cool, I know, but I'll prefer if you wish me God's grace!!!

That said, i found this hilarious, but, surprisingly true piece. Please oh, look that ur girlfriend well oh. She fit be mammy water!!! Lmao...............

This is for all the guys who pick up random girls on the streets without knowing anything about them. Here’s how to know if you are sharing your bed with a mammy water:

1.You picked her up from the street or some other random place. Maybe she was even standing in front of an uncompleted building

2.You don’t know her surname. She told you her name is “ Just Julie”

3.She agreed to sleep with you on the very first day, in fact she moved into your house, no questions asked.

4.She never gets tired. She can pound yam, fry garri, grind pepper with a stone and still have s*x with you when she finishes.

This was the sign that cracked me up. Surprisingly, its true!!! Read the rest after the cut.

#WORD

Don't ever let your girl talk to another guy about her problems; a shoulder to cry on, becomes a di#k to ride on.

#WORD

Joke of the day!!!

A guy went to a casino and lost all 10 000$. Swearing for the situation he goes
to a taxi driver and asks:
- I have lost all my money, please give me a ride back home for free.
- Fuck off, no money, no ride.
The next day the guys come to casino again and this time he successfully won all the money back and 10 000$ extra. Hi goes out of the casino happily and sees five taxis, and the last car is the one, which refused to give a ride for free yesterday.
He goes to the first taxi and says:
- Will you take me home for 100$?
- Sure!
- But when you take me there you'll have to do the blow-job as well
- Fuck off, man..
The guys goes to all next three cars and the story repeats. Finally he goes to the last taxi driver, who refused to help a day ago, and says:
- Will you take me home for 100$?
- Sure!
- Deal, but you have to pass through those other four taxi drivers very, very slowly.

Dear readers....

I had séx with my brother-in-law by mistake. In the dark I thought he was my husband. I’m 29, my husband’s 31. His parents held a family party for his niece’s 18th birthday last weekend. Everyone was there, including my husband’s brother who was home from working away in Saudi. He’s 36. We all get on well and there was plenty of alcohol and food. It was a nice party and we carried on drinking and dancing into the small hours.
My husband went up to bed before me and said he’d be waiting for me. I followed him up 20 minutes later. I got into bed feeling frisky and we ended up having séx. I woke up a couple of hours later and sat up to get a drink of water. I pulled back the curtain to let some light in through the window from the street lamp right outside the bedroom.
I looked round and got the shock of my life when I realised I was in bed with the wrong man. The man beside me was my husband’s brother. I’d gone into the wrong bedroom and I guess my brother-in-law thought it was his lucky day. We had all had a lot to drink. I ran to the right bedroom and crawled into bed with my husband who was fast asleep. Then I realised I’d left my underwear in the other room, so I sneaked back.
My brother-in-law was stirring so I hissed that we must keep quiet about what had happened. He just said, “Whatever.” He’s flown back to Saudi now but I don’t know whether to admit everything to my husband. If this comes out I’ll lose a man I love more than anything and cause family ructions.

What should she do?

Joke of the day!!!

A hot secretary came out angry out of her boss' office, her colleague asked "What happened? You went in happy and came out angry."

She replied, "he asked me if am free tonight? I said absolutely free! Then the bastard gave me 45 pages to type! 

He he he he he he......I loovveeee that boss!!!

Stole this......a lesson, though.

Some men are truly wicked I swear. How can a guy make his girlfriend go through several abortions to the point that her womb had to be removed. After destroying that small girl's life (18 or 19 yrs), he had the heart to sit her down that he doesn't want the relationship anymore, that they should just be friends. And he expected her to take it in good faith. Mstchewww! The girl stabbed him to death in his sleep anyways. As much as I hate to say it, he had it coming.

MORAL LESSON: Have a heart, treat people the way u would want to be treated or what might happen to u would b worse than this. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!!!

Not my article, though, but I'll add this. If u re a woman in such a situation, don't waste the guy and kill him just like that. you are free to use him for juju. 

As my dad will say, a lady you know u cant marry, don't Fu#k. True Talk.

Question of the day!!!

Which one sounds better??
1.lets have sex.
2.lets make love.
3.lets sleep together
4.lets bond.
5.lets work out.
6.lets do it.
7.lets make babies
8.lets squeeze each other.
9.OTHERS SPECIFY.

Lol. For me, wen I'm joking, I say number 7.....he he he he he........but wen I'm serious, I say nothing, i just do it!!! So, which is yours??

Why good people end up in bad relationships

10+1 Reasons Why.

With the divorce rate over 50 percent, too many are apparently making serious mistakes in deciding who to spend the rest of their life with. To avoid being numbered in this "statistic," try to internalize these 10 insights

#1. YOU PICK THE WRONG PERSON BECAUSE YOU EXPECT HIM/HER TO CHANGE AFTER YOU'RE MARRIED.
Never marry a potential. The golden rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after their married... for the worst!"
So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now. (NOTE- This doesn’t include financially. You can marry him/her if s/he has the potential to become wealthier and more comfortable than s/he is now).

Guys and Ladies...this is for you.

What we say, and what we actually mean. Lol. its true sha.

WOMEN'S ENGLISH
 1. Yes = No
 2. No = Yes
 3. Maybe = No
 4. We need = I want
 5. I am sorry = you’ll be sorry
 6. We need to talk = you’re in trouble
 7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
 8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
 9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
 10. You’re very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

Read that of men after the cut.

Joke of the day!!!

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, he doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him."

"Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of backrubs."

"Encourage him to watch some type of team sporting event on television. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

"You're going to die," she replied.

#WORD

A guy asked you for sex and you asked, "Do you Love me?". What do you expect him to say or Are YOU a LEARNER ?

I wonder too ooh.

#WORD jare.

The Institution of Marriage

Marriage is a School where you get the Certificate before you start.
A school where you will never graduate,
A school without a break or a free period,
A school where no one is allowed to drop out,
A school which you will have to attend every day of your life,
A school where there is no sick leave or holidays.

WoW. What a wonderful piece!!! And it gets more interesting, after the cut.

Lmao. That year. lol. wen we used to write love letters.

Made me remember back in the days mehn, wen I was quite young. Soo funny wen I remember the kinda things we used to do.
I remember wen my friend seized the love letter written to me from one of my girlfriends, and was caught with it by a teacher. It was actually wen we were writing our WAEC, and we were to be searched at the door before entering the hall. He forgot it was in his pocket. Trust me naa, I deny the dude and the letter. Lwkmd.

Not my letter oh!!!

Letter from her:

=========

Hand post

** ROLL DOWN TO U YOU ** KISS BEFORE YOU READ

**"P D N F"--- please do no fold

Roll down to you sweetiepie Babe!

Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. Why! this miraculous thing happened is because papie I love you spontaneously and as I stand horizontal to the wall and perpendicular to the ground.

I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous guy. papie please stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat.

How to talk to Ladies.....

I curled it from a site, wanna use it to open the blog for this new week. Happy new week peeps!!!

Most guys don't know how to carry a conversation with a woman, or talk to her in a way that makes her feel attraction to you. Most guys just wind up boring women.

1.) You should talk about “emotional” topics like childhood memories, future ambitions, or her passions. These conversation topics will open up her emotional floodgates.

2.) Women want a guy who is not afraid to lead her. While talking to a woman take control of the conversation. Never wait for her to dictate what you’ll be talking about.

3.) Pay attention to the non verbal cues a woman is giving you. If you’re standing too close to her, accidentally spitting when you talk, or making her feel uncomfortable in any way… she will send you hints. Pay attention to them.

4.) Remember this motto “Fun not Funny.” Women are attracted to men who allow them to have fun. Don’t concentrate on having the funniest jokes. Concentrate on showing them the most excitement and enjoyment.

How to attract a girl who already has a boyfriend.......

No be me talk am oh!!! lol. Well, its just an article for you all to chill off with thru the weekend. Its for guys alone btw.

How To Attract A Girl Who Already Has A Boyfriend

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you met a beautiful girl and got along with her incredibly well, just to find out she already had a boyfriend? Well, let’s face it: attractive girls are usually already taken.

This means that you have competition right from the very beginning. Don’t worry just yet, though. Believe it or not, you can learn how to attract a girl who already has a boyfriend and still hook up with her in the end.

So, are you ready to learn how to attract a girl who already has a boyfriend? Then let’s begin!

Connect with her on an intensely emotional level.

The real key to attracting a girl who already has a boyfriend would be to simply use a lot of emotions. There is no chance in hell for you to rationalize with a girl and convince her to leave her boyfriend to be with you – remember that. So, what you have to do instead is use the right emotions to make her feel happy whenever she is around you. Once she realizes how much happier she is in your presence compared to when she is with her boyfriend, she will start wondering why she is with the guy she is currently with in the first place.

Another joke for the day!!!

Read this joke and went gaga with laughter. Buha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha..........I guess I'm giving more jokes in one day to atone for my time off. Enjoy.

There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear that word one more time, I’ll quit! Everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had “fallen.” This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age.

About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, “You have to do something about the roads and sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen. The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about, your own wife fell three times this week already, and your daughter fell twice!

Ten commandments for all ladies....

Ten commandments for all ladies.
1. Don’t be in a hurry to move out of your parents house.
2. Don’t wait for a man before you start living. You can live a fulfilled life as a single woman.
3. Stay away from alcohol. It has killed others and you are not special.
4. Don’t entertain a wrong number call, especially at night. Its not the right way to find a lover.
5. Develop a healthy eating habit. Always take breakfast and avoid sweets.
6. Dress well: impression count. People will judge you by the way you dress even before they talk to you.
7. Don’t use sex as proof of love. Sex is no proof of love, he’ll leave you after the sex.
8. Don’t marry for the money, else you’ll become one of his possessions.
9. Add value to yourself – get a career. Don’t be fooled that a man will solve all your problems.
10. Beauty is not everything. If it is all you have, you’ll lose your place to someone beautiful better more matured and competent than you.

GBAM!!!

Question of the day!!!

Why did you leave ur Ex?

1-Lack of money
2-Lack of trust
3-Lack of understanding
4-Lack of patience
5-Lack of care & love
6-Attitude
7-poor bed performance
8-Misunderstanding
9-Distance
10-Over demanding of sex
11-Denial of sex in a relationship
12-Other - specify

Lol. For me, I'll say I split with my ex based on mutual agreement.......if u no understand, go look am for dictionary. Lmao. Oya, lets start having answers.

#WORD

One of the hardest things you'll ever have to do: Is try to convince your heart that you're better off without the person it loves.... you may love Him/Her but you know that they are not good for you.....

Thats true...

#WORD

Joke of the day!!!

A mum was lucky enough to see her three daughters wed in the same year, so she whispered to each of them "After your weddings, text me your first night experience and don't forget to text it in a coded way!"

After a week, the first daughter sent 'NESCAFE' in an sms 2 her mum while a week later, the second sent 'BENSON'. Their mum, as a 'soji woman' picked up a tin of Nescafe and read from d label "fantastic till d last drop!" She also went to her husband's pack of Benson cigarettes and found written on it "Extra long, king size!" she thought aloud "not too bad for them at their age"

A few days later, her third daughter's text comes in, "Arik: Lagos - Kano!". So Mama calls Arik Air information desk to inquire about their Kano to Lagos flight. She was told, "Its 3 times daily, 7 days a week and the flight duration is 75 minutes to and fro!"

Mama throws herself in the air, lands, slumps and faints shouting..."Yee eeee! Eleyi ma pa mi lomo O! ( this one will kill my daughter!)"

Story for the Guys......

A man came home from work and found his five children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap, and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked: “What happened here today?” She again smiled and answered, “You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?” “Yes,” was his incredulous reply. She answered, ”Well, today I didn’t do anything".....

DO NOT THINK THAT BECAUSE SHE IS A HOUSEWIFE SHE IS JUST SITTING AROUND ALL DAY DOING NOTHING????

Sneak peak about me............

Good morning y'all.

Wassup??? Happy weekend!. 

How re u doing???

Just remembered, I’ve had many posts, but I’ve not really said anything about myself.

Ehmmm……..My name is Temidayo, Born and breed in Portharcourt. #PH TO DA BONES. Ha ha.

I’m quiet. Or, do I say, I used to be quiet and more reserved?? Now, I think I'm more vivacious than previously. I used to be so quiet, till I discovered it wasn't the best. People used to be scared of me, and I didn’t know. I used to be a bit temperamental also, and I surprise even myself wen I react. U’ll never know what a quiet person has in his heart, cos they’ll never talk. But, for me, all that is past now. I decided to be more open, gist more, smile more, make more friends….and hate more enemies. Lol. Come to think of it sef, I don’t tink I have any enemies. Seriously. I’m #LOVEDBYALL. Lol. 

More 'bout me after the cut....

True talk mehn..........

U dated him for 5 years had 15 abortion for him and he leaves you to marry another girl, u are free to him for blood money.

#Shekinna.

#WORD

Cheating doesn't mean you have to kiss, meet or have sex with a third party. Once you find yourself deleting texts and e-mails so your partner won't see them, you are already there.

#WORD

Another joke for today..........

An 80 year old man who got married to a 22 year old female went to meet his doctor.

Man : My wife is pregnant. See, i can do it even at this age!

Doctor : Let me tell you a story.

There was a hunter who lived in the village. He was an old man. Once while he was preparing to go to the forest he accidentally took his umbrella thinking that to be his gun. In the forest he saw a bear. The bear was about to pounce on him. He panicked and opened the umbrella mistaking it for his gun. He heard a sound and the bear dropped dead before him !!!

Man : Impossible! Somebody else must have shot the bear...

Doctor : Exactly !!!

Dear readers..............

I found out my wife of 11 years cheated on me with some guy. This was last year June. She confessed to me after I confronted her with the facts. I decided to forgive her and stay married to her because I have cheated on her in the past too and I didn't want to destroy our family because we have four small children together. The thing now is; I don't love her anymore. I can't stand her and can't even bare to touch her. When she talks to me I get so angry I feel like stabbing her in the eye but I've never laid hands on her. I don't talk to her much except when we want to talk about the kids. We live in the same house but as strangers. She's really tried to make it up but it's not working. I actually hate it when she's around me, and haven't touched her since I found out about the cheating

I thought my anger and disgust at her would fade with time but it's been 9 months and I still feel this way. Will this anger ever go away or should I just end things with her?

Me: I've been in your shoes before, and I swear, it doesn't feel good. U are married to her and divorce isn't an option. For me, give her another chance. Stick with her through all this. Hope she gives u reasons to trust her, that it wont repeat itself again. If u can, stay away from her a little. Make yourself miss her a lot, den come back to her. It'll really help. And, please, don't bring up the issue, dont make her feel the guilt all the time. Well, lets hear what others have to say.

For the Ladies....Tips to be happy with your man. How true?

 

This is specially for wives and intending wives; as it may save you the risk of having a stroke and high BP.

1. Most Men cannot have sex exclusively with just one woman, for the rest of their lives.

2. Men are created with varied sexual appetite, some men can do without sex for a year, others cannot do without sex for a week.

3. A man who's madly in love with one woman can still have sex with other women but still love his 'woman'.

4. Some of the best husbands have concubines or mistresses, these extra marital affairs play a role in keeping the man sane and free of sexual tensions, especially during mid-life crises.

Lol. how true??? comment on what u think, which is true, which is not, but first see the rest after the cut.

12 Reasons why women dont like dating nice guys...

 Women say they want a nice guy, yet usually end up dating bad boys. Here’s why.

 1. Not real. Nice guys are too nice. No one can always be that nice unless they’re a saint. They are busy being nice instead of being real and women instinctually don’t trust that. Bad boys “keep it real.” Nice guys don’t want to upset the apple cart.

Joke of the day!!!

Boy drops girl at home, he puts his hand on d wall by d gate for support, leans towards her

BOY: Can I kiss you?

GIRL: Not now, I'm at home.

BOY: Please.

GIRL: No.

BOY: You were too sweet in bed today.

GIRL: Waoh! you too, full of energy. I could not believe we had for rounds.

BOY: Let me kiss u good night.

GIRL: Someone may be watching, they still think I'm a virgin at home.

This goes on for ten minutes, then girl's brother appears at the gate and says "Dad says whether u kiss him or not its your decision, but tell that bastard to remove his hand from the intercom button, everyone at home is listening to your conversation"

Say ''welcome'' to papa. Lmao.

Yeah, I know I've been away for a pretty long time, and I'm soo soo sorry for that. Well, I don't wanna start giving excuses, but, sadly, I still wanna say I'll still be away for a while. I have office duties on my mind, exams, and my project. Soo many big things for this my small head. lol. did I say small head??? People say I have a big head. well, it doesnt matter, abi??? Scientists have proven that people with big head have smaller brains but they think the quickest and are the most intelligent. 

Nna mehn, see deviation from issue naa. From why I was away to the size of my head. I seem like a parrot, rite??? Lmao. Well, funny enough, I'm not. I'm pretty quiet and reserved in real life. Maybe thats why I use this medium to say all the rubbish I wanna. lol.

Ehmmmmm............its going to be an intense next two months for me. Will be writing my exams.....and, Imagine, I decided to register 3 papers this diet. My head don blow naa ni!!! Only God can help me. I really really do hope to pass, and I'm working towards it!!!  Just that......mehn, ee no easy. I had to do away with my Blackberry...........part of the sacrifices I gotta make. Hoping to get another on the day I write my last paper in June...and its gonna be a Blackberry z10..............#BIGBOY things. Lmao. BB z10 ke? I pray oh!!!

I'll try not to be taking long breaks like this anymore, I'll try to be coming around, to post once a while,  atleast make we dey progress small small. lol. 

You'll ask, why that picture??? lol. #Whocares???? na my blog, and I decide to put am. if u no like am, close ur eye. lol. Btw, I dont have a boo, so, I'll say......................THUNDER FIRE THAT MAN THATS BOOING MY FUTURE BOO RITE NOW!!! 

Lmao.  see u'all later jare.