Whats up?????

Hello dudes and dudetts!!! Whats up, how is ur day going??? Hope its as beautiful as the butterfly. Haha.

How re you'all holding up??? Hot afternoon right here in Nigeria, and it seems the clock is taking twice as much time to tick.......the day is sooo slow.......

Twelve days to exam, I have a whole lot to do, and I'm here blogging. Lol. I hope i am able to catch up mehn. I still have a whole lot to do. ?God help me.

I mentioned what my ex did to me, rite???? See it in my previous post here. Imagine, I guess she sensed that I was pissed. Yesterday, she sent me a text, congratulating me on my success in the interview, which I had previously told her about. I guess she is just looking for a means to strike up a conversation. Double yimu. Lol. I didnt reply her, I totally ignored the text. WTF does she even take me for sef??? Lol. 

A typical Nigerian wedding......

My brother posted that video on his Facebook page. Thats a typical yoruba wedding. Mehn!!! see money being spent naa!!! as in, Thats 2 plots of land in VI and house built to lintel level in the second floor of a beautiful duplex spent in one day!!! Oh mehn ehhhh!!! No wonder we Africans don't divorce like the whites do!!! When you thing of spending such amount on a second wedding, u go just forgive that wife. Lol. Mehn!!! God, pls take me to that level, my wedding go gel pass that one!!!

Seriously, a wedding is only done once, and if its only done once, its better done right!!! So, do all u can to make the day as memorable as possible, so that after then, u wont think back and have regrets on the things u have done, and the things u wish u had done.

Joke of the day!!!

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom so long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer. If, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed. The question was, “What do women really want?”

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end. Arthur returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. What most people told him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

Lol.......

You are 35yrs old, no job , no house , no car, no money ,NO FUTURE AMBITION, nothing to call your own, and you say you want a girl to love you for who you are......................................Please who are you?

Hello!!!

Good Morning peeps!!!

A quick word for today......saw it somewhere and liked it......

After a long time, you'll learn that:

''Surprises mean a lot than Promises''

''Kisses and Hugs mean a lot than sex: coz they show love and affection''

''Tears mean a lot than laughter and: Pride the first step of falling back''

You'll learn that

''Love controls everything, and hatred means nothing,

you'll find more happiness in Forgiveness and More guilt in Revenge''

And on that day, thats when you will learn that: 

''God, had no intension to make you suffer, but only ur hatred is responsible for every tear that you shed''

You all should have a nice day!!!

Top 5 lies about Marriage

Marriage is often seen as fix-all - dreamy singles think it will make them happy, restless men and women think it will make them feel complete. We take apart the five most popular cons that mar marriage.

I won't be lonely
Being lonely or having company has nothing to do with getting married. Many loners remain so even after marriage. A long-suffering woman shared her woes, she said that though she was married, she was always lonely. "I never felt that we shared anything. When I spoke, he heard but never listened. On holidays, I never felt that we were together." Those who are lonely and feel that marriage will be a solution, need to analyse and identify what they are feeling.

Happy weekend peeps!!!

 

Happy weekend y'all.

 

Whats up and how are you spending this weekend???? For me, its been a very hectic day at work today. Imagine, we are supposed to close by 5:00, its 4:40 pm and the rain has started falling, heavily. haven't been a nice day for me.

 

How was your week??? For me, its been a week to remember. On Monday, I said I was going for an interview on Tuesday, rite?? Well, I did. Travelled from PH to Owerri for it, came back that same day, and trust me, I sure gave them hell!!! lol. I wasnt scared of if I'll be taken of not, I was only skeptical, not sure if this is what I want for myself.

Well, yesterday afternoon, I got a text from them, that I was successful, and I will be contacted soonest. meaning, all that stands between me and the job is just Medicals. I give all glory unto God, because it is only by his grace was that made possible.

 

More on my intresting week and boring weekend after the cut......lol.

Somthing to think about in ur spare time......

 

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT IN YOUR SPARE TIME:

SIMPLE TRUTH 1

Lovers help each other undress before sex.

However after sex, they always dress on their own.

Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH 2

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats."

But, none of them touch the man's penis and say, "Good job."

Moral of the story: Quality work is never appreciated.

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE

 

Soo funny. Read em after the cut.....

Mc. Dabiz: The secret of lasting and happy relationship.

SECRET OF LASTING AND HAPPY RELATIONSHIP

By Mc Dabiz:

1. Not all relationships must lead to marriage. Some relationships are for a reason, others are for a season only few are for a life time. If it doesn't work out don't kill yourself because it was for something. Discover the purpose and move on.

2. Don't give a man or a woman the totality of your heart before giving the totality of your heart to God. Love that person but put God first.

3. Don't get carried away with beauty or money. If that person's inner person cannot keep you, his money or her beauty cannot either.

4. Love is never enough; understanding, compatibility, wisdom, patience and tolerance are equally important.

Preach Preacher!!! But seriously, he is sooo right!!! More when you continue.

Beer vs. Veejayjay

BEER vs VAGINA

1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work. One point to the BEER.

2. Warm beer tastes awful. One point to VAGINA.

3. A really cold beer is satisfying. One point to BEER.

4. If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. One point to VAGINA.

5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. IT'S A DRAW for the time being.

6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere. One point to VAGINA.

7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any p***y in public, you become a legend. One point to VAGINA.
Lmao. More when you continue.

Hmmmmm........that EX.....

Studies have shown that in many marriages the first issue doesn't belong to the husband. When I heard this I was shocked and I doubted it. Then I heard stories. Well I will advise men to be watchful so you don't end up raising another man's kids out of ignorance. If you want to raise them let it be by choice and not due to deceit on part of the wife.

Well, in many cases, weeks to the wedding or days to the wedding the bride receives a call from her ex begging to see her b4 she finally becomes a Mrs. Or he calls to tell her to come give him the invitation card personally that since they go way back that he needs a face-to-face invitation. The lady after considering it maybe then agrees to go and see him. The venue would probably be his house. On getting there, they would reminisce over old times and laugh and then the guy starts crying.

Crying and explaining how he was going to miss her and then the lady joins and you know a woman's greatest aphrodisiac is when she is emotionally down. They start from kissing and then clothes starts flying and such intercourses almost never takes place with protection.

The woman gets pregnant and since the act took place days or weeks b4 the wedding the assumption by the husband would be that he is responsible. He ends up taking care of another man's baby not out of choice but out of ignorance.

Ladies, please when you say yes to a man's proposal and the wedding date has been fixed please forget visiting your ex for the last time cuz more often than not it leads to sex. Some even go there with the intention of having one last hot sex. I know of a lady that left for her wedding venue from her ex bf's apartment. E no make sense nah. Please let's avoid stories that touch. If he asks for a face-to-face invitation tell him that if he doesn't want to come that he should 4get about it.

How to get a Nigerian man to marry you.

 

Lol. Hillarious. 

How to get a Nigerian man to marry you

Getting a Nigerian man to marry you is the easiest thing in the world. This is your chance to stop being single and get a-mingling.These easy steps will get you married, bedded, bare foot and pregnant in less than a year, guaranteed or your money back.

-- Be very religious. Nigerian men loveeeee them some religious girls. you don't actually have to be, you just have to pretend that you are. talk about the night vigils you go to every now and then. slip in some Bible passages in random conversations even when they don't fit in. Give him a Bible for his birthday. call him randomly for "morning prayers". a Nigerian man will marry a woman who appears to be religious. fake it till you get that ring baby girl.

Happy sunday, Happy Mother's day!!!

Read this story, check it out here.

Hilarious, but true. If we really wanna be truthful to ourselves, that's it. Dont wanna say much about it, just check it out, promise you, it'll get u cracking up. Happy Sunday. 

Btw, I heard today is mother's day........again???? Tot it has been celebrated two times already this year??? Well, a thousand days is not enough to celebrate our mothers, so, every time we get the opportunity, lets say a big Thank you to them, for the unmeasurable love they've shown to us.My Mummy, once again, I say, thank you, I love you, I would never have wished for someone better, I appreciate all you've done for me, whatever I am today, u are a major part of it, after God's grace, I owe it all to you. Thanks Mum. Happy Mothers Day!!!

Dear readers.....

I got married 4 months ago, I'm tired of this marriage, I may need court order to divorce by next month if things are still same. Before we got married 4 months ago, we court/dated for 18 months which I believe is enough for both of us to study ourselves to know our do and don't. Within this 18 months she spent one and half month in my house house under same roof. We live like couple for this period, she was an angel, her ways and mode of doing things were so unique that I even hasting things up for the wedding, but since the very day of wedding she has turned something else To start with, she doesn't listen to me, before I say one thing she would have say four. She doesn't listening to correction, she nag always, even when she is wrong she won't listen to correction, she believe that all what she do or say is right. Our sex life is nothing to talk about, we had sex just 6 times since we got married, she is not always in the mood, our honey moon lasted for 1 week and we had sex just once through out the honey moon. I'm badly starve, I'm a guy that derive much pleasure in sex but she is not always in The mood, I have promised my self from the beginning of my life to stay off extra marital affairs, I'm a very gentle person, a merry maker, who want the people around him to be always happy, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't have girlfriend,i believe in faithfulness,but this woman is about bringing out the animal in me. Please I need advise from you guys, what should I do because if things continue this way, by next month I may have to divorce her.

What do y'all think 'bout this?

Happy weekend peeps!!!

What do u think of guys keeping condoms in their wallet?

Assuming, u have a steady boyfriend, and u choose to be faithful, and so u see no need to use a condom with him, flesh to flesh is always sweeter u know!!! Then, a day came, and you had a reason to go through his wallet and you see a condom. What will you do, and how will you feel?

Whats the general perception of a guy with a condom in his wallet??? Lets debate about this, as we have a fun filled weekend!!!! 

Joke of the day!!!

Mr and Mrs Akpors at a zoo walk past a gorilla enclosure.

Mrs Akpors: Sweetheart, do u know that gorillas are the only animals that behave like men? Look.

(seeing that no one is watching, she exposes one of her sweet breasts)

Sure enough, the gorilla gets excited & grabs the bars of  d enclosure as if it wanted to break free.

Mrs Akpors: See, now I know why u react the way u do; men can't control their instincts just like gorillas can't...Men & gorillas are the same.

Mr Akpors: Wow.. now expose both breast & see what happens.

(So she exposes both breasts to d gorilla & it gets very excited dat it want to escape from d enclosure)

Mr Akpors: dis is incredible, now pull ur skirt up, turn around, expose ur bum & let's see wat happens.

(d woman did exactly & dis time, d gorilla breaks free from d enclosure, grabs Mrs Akpors and starts yanking her clothes off)

Mrs Akpors[yells]: Dear........wat do I do now? Please help me!

Mr Akpors: Now, tell him you're in ur period, u av a headache or you're not in mood, and let's see if Gorillas and Men are really d same.

For today.......

Hallo peeps. whats up?

I sit in front of my work system, 15 minutes to closing time, waiting for the stroke of the last minute for me to send my report for the day. I sit with hot poo in my bom-bom, contemplating if I should risk going to poo, or if I should chill till I get to class, where I reside for now cos of my exams. I decided to chill. Ope it wont prove to be a bad decision later. 

I'm pretty tensed these days, maybe its cos of my exams that are drawing closer by the day, or its the interview I have to go for next week. which ever one, I believe, by God's grace, they'll both be a success!!! but I have a lot to do mehn, in terms of preparation. i need to do my part, and God will do his. I believe!!! amen.

And, btw, that aint me at the pics.......but I'm that cute though. *wink*

Well, I have just one word for today....

When in a relationship, never apply this logic:

"I cheated on/hurt/lied to you because you did it to me first; making us even. I hope you learned your lesson."

Your relationship gains nothing if you attack a wrong doing with another wrong doing. Past mistakes should be forgiven and understood because the people we were yesterday does not necessarily resemble the people we are today.

Sometimes people actually do manage to change for the better, it just takes lots of time and maturity.

Yeah, thats it!!! 

Joke of the day!!!

Two men were shipwrecked on an island. They decided to venture inland to see if they could find someone. The men came across a village in the middle of a jungle, immediately they were surrounded by a tribe of islanders.

The chief walks to the men and says, ” What do you choose, Death or Boogaloo?” The first man thinks for a second and replies, “I choose Boogaloo”.

The chief smiles and the tribe begins to chant “boogaloo, boogaloo, boogaloo”. The chief takes the man, bends him over and f**ks him up the ***.

The second man is horrified at what he has just witnessed and then the chief walks up to him and asks, “You must choose, Death or Boogaloo”?

The man thinks he would rather die than have boogaloo, so he replies, “I choose death”.

The tribe roars in ecstasy and the chief yells, “Death by boogaloo!!!”

6 Mistakes women make when it comes to sex

Ladies, be honest: when your sex life becomes a little humdrum (dull), out comes the mental catalogue of all the ways your partner isn't quite measuring up. And sure, we guys make our fair share of bedroom errors. But as the saying goes, "it takes two to tango". As a sex and relationship expert - I observed that women make plenty sex mistakes of their own and here’s my take on these mistakes...

Mistake #1: Not Initiating Sex With Your Partner

Many women worry about "lady-like behaviour". They don’t want to appear pushy or come on too strong for fear of being labelled a "slut". Accordin' to research, failing to initiate sex is one of the biggest mistakes women make. Most guys feel like they are always the initiator and that sets up imbalance on the passion scale in the relationship, generally, men want to be pursued by their partners just as much as women do.

Holding on to outdated ideas about sex roles inhibit satisfaction with our sexual relationships, people used to think that women are less interested in sexual activity and I don’t want to say that anymore. I think there are women who are as interested in sex [as men]. Show your interest by taking the first step from time to time. Your partner will likely appreciate it, and you may find a new level of satisfaction in taking responsibility for your sexual experience - this is something I strongly feel women must do...

#Word

Hmmmmm, I do love you nau, I'm just too busy to call.....it was hectic at the office today....but I say...

Its all excuses.

No matter how busy a person is, if they really care, they'll always find time for you.

Take, for example, they see a missed call in their phone from a number they don't recognize, wont they call to find out who? Then, why the excuse of not having the time?

Even if it's just a quick text, short Email, sending a note, a two seconds call......there is always a way if you truly care, remember you did in the beginning of the relationship....

#Word

I wonder too oh, for we Naija babes

Yankee babe

-1st date - Kiss

-2nd date - Sex

Naija babe;

-1st date - Handshake

-2nd date - Hug

-3rd date - Kiss

-4th date - Attempted sex but failed

-5th date - Shopping

-6th date - Cinema, BIS, more shopping

-7th date - Attempted sex but failed

-8th date - Sex or Rape!!!!!!!

Who's fault is it ???

You noticed him before he noticed you (Dos and Donts)

A woman asking a guy to marry her is unconventional. It’s NOT regular. A woman's responsibility is to prepare to be found. She was not made to initiate. The man must actively pursue her. In fact, he will enjoy the chase as much as she enjoys being chased. But when you saw him, you knew he fits your “Mr. Right” prototype and you liked him (almost) immediately. As a Lady, you know its best he starts the chase, but is there no how a woman can be the one to start the chase when the guy is not living up to his role?

ANSWER: There is a NON VERBAL proposal a woman can use to get a man she really likes and leave him thinking he actually proposed. Ruth in the Bible used it to get the Man of her Dream (Boaz) and you too can. Let me show you THE 10 NON VERBAL PROPOSALS for women. But before that, let me show you the FOUR WEAK STRATEGIES LADIES USE on GUYS they like that has always failed to produce result:

1. BEG HIM. This is what happens to a woman with low self-esteem. She has no understanding of who she is, what she’s got and what she’s capable of becoming. She begs a man to love her and get married to her. This is weak and pathetic. It is the wrong way to go.

Advice for guys........

She will cry and get over it, she will hate you and then love you again but, one day she will leave and won’t come back to you. Stop taking her love for granted.

Appreciate what she does for you, stop backing at her, stop calling her a bitch, a whore…and all sorts of ugly names. They hurt her though sometimes she doesn’t tell you, She cries in the deep nights because her love&care isn’t valued and returned. She has wounds at heart that she needs you to heal.

Fine she sees many classy guys out there, they vibe her but she never gives in because she is contented with YOU. Guys stop making that beautiful girl of yours cry, shower her with love, don't make her lack and cease disrespecting her. If you still have that chance of proving your love to her, please use it because one day she will be out of your life and that's when you will realize what she meant to your life, you will miss her effort, love and care and she will be no more. She will be with that other innocent, loving, caring, patient, understanding lonely guy out there.

THINK ABOUT IT.

Vagaina clasping....

Lol. Covering my face, cos I'm shy as I write this. Well, I curled it from a Psychologist's page. Any lady that can do this, could make a man reach the skies during sex...here it goes....

Some time ago - late last year or thereabout - I was counselling a couple as regards their sex life - the husband got involved in an illicit affair which he later stopped, but this affair had left such enormous scar on their marriage - he could not enjoy sex with his wife again. Not that he was impotent or...... "whatever", he was simply not finding her pleasurable in bed anymore.

Hmmm....

Now, I hear someone just said..."she don jazz am"..."she don put something for waist f**k am"...lolzzz...

Who knows...you just might be right (as a naija man - me sef bn think am...I no go lie...lolzzz) but then, lets get back to the story...*I found out something more*...

During the course of the therapy, I could clearly read that the man was hiding something *he couldn't say to his wife's hearing*...I requested that she excuse us for a while....I now asked him again..."its just the 2 of us now, tell me why you don't find sex with your wife pleasurable anymore"...he replied...

"actually doc', the truth is my wife is still hot but...my ex (the lady I had an affair with) - used to do something my wife doesn't do - anytime I'm about ejaculating, she used to squeeze her vaginal muscles, its such amazing sensation, always felt like a hand was gripping my d**k"

Hmmm....

Ladies and gents, I introduce to you - VAGINAL CLASPING....