Monday 6 May 2013

You noticed him before he noticed you (Dos and Donts)


A woman asking a guy to marry her is unconventional. It’s NOT regular. A woman's responsibility is to prepare to be found. She was not made to initiate. The man must actively pursue her. In fact, he will enjoy the chase as much as she enjoys being chased. But when you saw him, you knew he fits your “Mr. Right” prototype and you liked him (almost) immediately. As a Lady, you know its best he starts the chase, but is there no how a woman can be the one to start the chase when the guy is not living up to his role?
ANSWER: There is a NON VERBAL proposal a woman can use to get a man she really likes and leave him thinking he actually proposed. Ruth in the Bible used it to get the Man of her Dream (Boaz) and you too can. Let me show you THE 10 NON VERBAL PROPOSALS for women. But before that, let me show you the FOUR WEAK STRATEGIES LADIES USE on GUYS they like that has always failed to produce result:

1. BEG HIM. This is what happens to a woman with low self-esteem. She has no understanding of who she is, what she’s got and what she’s capable of becoming. She begs a man to love her and get married to her. This is weak and pathetic. It is the wrong way to go.
2. BUY HIM. This is when a woman wants to use material and financial power to persuade a man to get married to her. This method always fails, because he will collect the gifts and go ahead to marry the one he truly loves.

3. SEDUCE HIM. This is when a woman uses sex to make the man accept her and ask for her hand in marriage. The problem with this strategy is that sex is a very weak currency. It has no lasting or staying influence on a man’s mind. A man who gets married to you for the sex is on his way out the next best sex he gets.

4. MANIPULATE HIM. This is when a woman comes up with a scheme to lie, deceive and emotionally manipulate a man to make a commitment to her. One of the ways ladies manipulate men is to get pregnant for them. It usually fails when the man discovers what the lady did. However, you can make him an offer he can’t refuse. How do you do this?

THE 10 NON VERBAL PROPOSALS (How to Make Him an Offer He Can’t Resist).

1. CHECK YOUR MOTIVE. The first time you saw him and believed he is your kind of man, what was on your mind? Were you looking at him as the person to come in and settle all your financial needs and take care of you or as a panacea to your lonely life? Did he appear to you as the solution to the immense pressure you’ve been facing from the society for remaining single? If the motive for desiring him in your life is inordinate, then there is nothing that you do that will make it work well. So before you read further, find out if you have the right motive. If not, please quit reading at this point.

2. GET TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM. When you have settled it in your heart that you are developing interest in him, ask around so you can find out more about him. One of the things to find out is if he is in any other relationship and how strong his relationship is or how committed he is in it. Find out his areas of interest - his likes and dislikes, the things that appeal to his person. You can achieve this by asking people around his area. By so doing, you will be able to find out if he is really the kind of person you want to get into a relationship with. It will also help you to know if you are his kind of person. There is something every man is searching for in a woman and contrary to what popular magazines say, it is NOT all about sex. All men are not the same, so find out what he yearns for on the inside and utilize it to your advantage.

3. BE SURE OF YOUR TIMING. Some ladies have been misunderstood, ridiculed and taken advantage of simply because they did not consider the time they approached the guy that they are interested in. Some bump into the guy, others accost him in a tensed situation to express their minds. This makes the ladies appear cheap, desperate and unserious. When you want to approach a guy, do so when he is settled and willing to listen to you. Do it in a quiet and friendly atmosphere. If there’s a need around him at the point when you want to talk to him, you will score a good point in his heart if you can identify and solve (or be part of the solution to) the problem. Rebecca (the wife of Isaac), in the Holy Book got herself a husband by being on time to solve the problem facing the servant of Abraham. Therefore Strike When He is Settled!!

4. MAKE YOURSELF AVAILABLE- but not a nuisance. Availability here is divided into three: Physical Availability- On the day you really want to make yourself seen, you must make sure that you are looking good. You have to be neat, dress well, dress modestly. Be sure you don’t have a foul breath, put on a good perfume, and be moderate in your make up. The question you must ask yourself is “what perception of me do I want this guy to have?” Do you want him to see you as a desperate old lady seeking for a man, or a prostitute that is looking for a customer? Dress the way you want to be addressed.
Emotional Availability- Emotional availability takes care of the state of your heart when you are going to meet the guy. Due to the fact that “chasing” is not the primary responsibility of the lady, she might start nursing some measure of fear in her heart. You must flush out every form of fear and put on confidence as a cloak if you must succeed in getting him to look in your direction. Weak men are always threatened by confident ladies, but real men are always impressed by confident ladies. So choose this day the kind of man you want to attract. Service Availability- You can wow a guy with your physical looks, but it will take a serving hand to impress and keep a man for long. Being available service-wise does not mean that you will go to slave yourself for him. Women in the bid to impress guys with service will do all sorts for him: washing his clothes, cooking for him, cleaning his house and even servicing his bed. That is not the kind of service that I am referring to. Those services are meant for the man who has made the required commitment to you in the relationship. You can get him food to eat, but not necessarily going to his house to do the cooking. As I said in the heading, be available, but not a nuisance.

GET CLOSE HIS CIRCLE OF FRIENDS AND ACTIVITIES. Another way to endear yourself to the heart of a man that you like is by getting closer to his circle of friends. Believe it or not, friends go a long way to influence our decisions. When you become friends with the guy’s friends, you avail yourself of the opportunity to be considered when he is ready to make his choice of a partner. Most guys love recreational activities like football, basket-ball, swimming, etc. When you develop interest in the things that excite him, you are bound to get his attention.

SPEAK TO HIM. At some point in the whole process, you might come face to face with the guy, where he might need to know why you have been all over him. He might also be too shy to talk to you, but will create a conducive environment so you can come out straight with what’s on your mind. When such opportunity presents itself, take advantage of it and tell him your intention. A lot of caution must be harnessed, so you don’t overstep the bounds for the lady. A lady can only initiate friendship between herself and a guy and nothing more. A lady should never attempt to convince, cajole, coax, compel, persuade or even sweet-talk a man to getting into a relationship with her. This is because dating, courtship, etc should be geared toward marriage or have the thought of marriage behind it. This makes it impossible for the woman to be the one to initiate it, because in this part of the world, “acceptable” marriages are those initiated and contracted by the men. So you can only speak about being friends with him, after you guys have known and understood each other to an extent, he can now take it to the next level. As I said above, you must speak with confidence, to show that you are purposeful (not desperate) and to avoid being toyed with by the guy (if he is dubious).

STAY HUMBLE AND TACTFUL. Pride they say goes before a fall. Humility is one silent magnetic force that can attract diligent men to you. The world today is in short supply of women who are humble and submissive. So to make yourself a rare gem, you must have to stay humble. Due to the fact that we live in the world where culture holds sway, where women are to be chased (and not to chase), lots of tact must be applied so that you don’t appear desperate. Moderation has to be applied in doing these things that has been discussed. Do not make it obvious to people that you are doing what you are doing. Be discreet about your moves lest you be misjudged, criticized and condemned.

BE PATIENT. One of the key attributes of love is patience. As a wise man said, “the patient dog eats the fattest bone.” You realize that the journey of making a guy interested in you is not an automatic thing. It will really take your time. If you are ever in haste, you will make a lot of mistakes and appear cheap, because you cannot be in a rush and still be tactful. Take your time to do each of the above and I assure you that you will get the desired result if ever you guys are meant to be together. It’s better safe than sorry.

RETAIN YOUR VALUES. Your values are a precious companion you must never let go of. In the bid to win the attention of a man, you might at some points be required or forced to lay down your values (or compromise on some of them). Never accept such conditions, because it will surely lead to a total loss of your personality (who you are). Be in constant touch with your inner man (your conscience), so you can know what is acceptable and unacceptable to your person. There are things that are acceptable to one, but offensive to another. Be honest to yourself and know where to draw the line, in order to preserve your person and your values.

BE ACCOUNTABLE TO SOMEONE. It is most likely for one to veer off the track when engaging in this kind of expedition. So to be successful in it and keep focused on the mark, you must be accountable to someone. Find a person that understands and believes in what you are doing; who has no conflicting interest(s) and will be ready to furnish you with explanations when you are in betwixt and between on what next to do. Sit with the person and outline your goals for the exercise that you are undertaking, so you can get guidance. Also fill the person in on what your limits and restrictions are, so that s/he (preferably she), will be able to call you to order when you are going astray.

NOTE: Every man wants a good woman. In a man’s mind, a good woman is one who understands him enough to show him the way to his greatness. It’s as simple as that. Let him realize, in very simple terms that you are that woman. If he fails to get married to you, his future may be uncertain. But with you, great possibilities await him in the future. Say it. Show it. Live it. No man can refuse such an offer. However, if he doesn’t make his move, either he is not the one for you, or he is gay!!!

THINK TWICE AND ACT RIGHT!!!

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