Since he left, I cant love again!!!!

This very touching story is exactly what I've been going through over the years. Well, before we talk about me, read this story after the cut.

Hey people, I need your advice on something. I was in a serious relationship that was eventually leading to the altar but one thing led to another, I had to break off the engagement. That was late last year. Ever since then, I hadn't been in any relationship up until 4 months ago. I met this guy and initially, wasn't expecting it to go anywhere but things didn't really go according to plan and I ended up falling in love with the guy. The thing is, when i started dating the guy, I was fully aware of the kind of guy he was (hit and run kind of guys if you know what i mean) thanks to a series of unfortunate events which kept bringing us together, the guy fell in love with me too. It wasn't long before he asked me to move in with him which I did. Soon, I knew the password to his phone, his facebook password. He pretty much showed me that he had nothing to hide, which made me believe he truly had changed. Everywhere he wanted to go, he would carry me along. Soon the fights started, even with the fights he still knew what to do to bring the situation under control. Now, I know most of you are wondering what the problem is...well here it is...I'm still dating this guy, but even with all that he is (everything I want in a man), I still feel unhappy with him. It doesn't feel right, I have always learnt to trust my instincts but I'm second guessing myself. My heart is not in it, but my head is in support of the relationship. I'm not sure if its because of what my ex put me through or its because I'm not fully over him or I'm just not ready to date again, whichever the case, how many of you will stay in a relationship that they r not happy in? should I leave or should i stick it out and see where it leads?????

Now, lets talk about me. 

If you've not had this kinda experience, you wont really know how it feels. To some, breaking up is just being apart. To some people, like me, its like a part of our soul being torn apart from us, and, no matter how we try to say its alright, we just aint the same anymore. The lonely feeling is soo overwhelming!!! We might look all cool, like allz well, but, deep down, we feel the pain. We try to love again, but it never feels right. Sometimes, its feels terrible, to the extent that, we go back to our ex, who has done us soo much hurt. We go back, not cos we feel its the right thing to do, but cos that's the only way we would feel right.

Okay, lets talk about me. I stayed on in a bad relationship 3 years after I knew it just couldn't work out. The reasons, though it might not be reasonable to you, makes a lot of sense to me. First, she was my first (If you know what I mean.....ha ha ha ha ha). Secondly, she made a lot of sacrifices just because she wanted to be with me, even to the extent of shunning going to London to study Medicine and surgery, she stayed here in Nigeria to study a not-so popular course. We practically lived together during my last 3 years in school. She was known to every member of my family, used to spend weeks and weeks in our family house, attended all family functions, wearing the same aso-ebi with us sef. she'd sew the same material with my sister during all events and festive periods. She was like a part of me. 

Now, there were times we broke up, and I tried dating others. Even upon how she really hurt me, it just didn't feel right being with anyone else. I got to hook up with a lot of girls, some prettier than she is, some, that I could say, had everything I want in a future partner. But, it seems my feelings were dead. I had no love for anyone else. Right now, we aint together anymore, but, I've lost the ability to love!!!

It seemed like all these is more than physical, seems there is a spiritual aspect to it, as there is a lot I really cant explain. So, what do y'all think about this???? We need advice, but more than that, we need an explanation on why its like that!!!